


Six Ways Rodney Finds Out That Teyla Is Pregnant

by LdyAnne



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-21
Updated: 2011-08-21
Packaged: 2017-10-22 21:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LdyAnne/pseuds/LdyAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what the title says.  Because I really wanted to see the scene when Rodney found out that Teyla was pregnant and I felt cheated that we didn't get to see it on the screen.  I started to write that scene and then realized there was just so many other ways it could have happened!</p><p>Spoilers:  Teyla's pregnant.  So probably anything up to and including season 4 could be in here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Ways Rodney Finds Out That Teyla Is Pregnant

During a mission:  
It's while they're running from the spear-wielding natives (again) on M29-433. Teyla tripped and Ronon was right there with a hand on her elbow, helping her up and running along beside her to make sure that she was going to be alright.

As much as he could (while running for his own life), Rodney watches her, too. She's been remarkably ungraceful lately and her body's been changing. Not that she's not still disturbingly hot while her waist grows and thickens, but it's not like Teyla to just let herself go like that.

"Keep moving, McKay," Sheppard growls in his ear.

"What's up with Teyla lately?" Rodney huffs as he runs as fast as his legs will carry him. They've been running a while now and still have quite a way to go before they get to the gate. Rodney hopes that he can make it because his legs are starting to feel a little like over-cooked spaghetti. Even though his own stamina has increased since coming to the Pegasus and having to run for his life once a week, he's starting to reach the end of his endurance.

"She's pregnant, McKay," Sheppard said as he pushed Rodney in the small of the back trying to give him an impetus to keep moving. As if with the natives and the spears and the death threats he needed *more* reason to keep running.

At Sheppard's words Rodney turned and stared at him. He knew his mouth was agape but he couldn't do anything about it.

"Seriously?" was all he got out before the natives caught up with them.

The next few hours were spent with said natives. Their world was in the middle of a civil war which Rodney totally didn't get what with the replicators, the Wraith and the Genii all being in the same galaxy it seemed to him that there better things to fight than with each other. (But Rodney was no longer surprised by anything in the Pegasus Galaxy. Except for Teyla being pregnant that is). The people of M29-433 thought the Lanteans were providing weapons to the other side. No matter how hard they tried to get the 'truth' from them, John and Rodney continued to assert that they weren't working with the other side. They were just there for trade. Between the torture and the blood and the broken bones there was no time to talk more about Teyla or her (alleged) pregnancy.

Rodney was never so glad to see Ronon and the (allegedly) pregnant Teyla show up to rescue them.

It was later, when they were hooked up to IVs and all the equipment in the infirmary that Keller had at her command that Rodney complained bitterly, "I'm just not getting my memos."

"What the hell, McKay?" Sheppard mumbled from his bed. Along with the IVs and equipment, he had the added bonus of having a hand casted and a neat row of stitches in his forehead.

"Teyla's pregnant!" Rodney felt indignation creeping over him that just couldn't be quelled by the cocktail of drugs that was running through his IV.

Sheppard snorted. "No shit, Sherlock."

"And you let her go out in the field? You could have gotten her and her baby killed."

There was silence coming from the other bed. From the continued beeping of the monitors, Rodney knew Sheppard hadn't died.

"Listen, McKay, we can't keep her here in Atlantis, wrapped in cotton, as much as I would like to do that. We need her in the field, we need her skills, because God knows you or I or Ronon aren't diplomats." John's voice sounded defeated and small. Rodney suddenly got how hard it would be for him to let Teyla go through the gate knowing what could happen to her and her child. Rodney didn't know what to say, but Sheppard saved him from having to say anything, "It was supposed to be a simple mission, a cake walk."

"Teyla can take care of herself," Rodney said uncertainly.

Sheppard gives a tired laugh, "Obviously, since we're the ones in the infirmary."

Rodney laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling, listening to the steady beeping of the monitors, "So, uhm... should we throw her a baby shower?"

~~~~~

Cadman throws a shower:  
Rodney had found over the months since he had shared a body with Laura Cadman that the best way to get rid of her quickly was to do what she requested and to ask no questions (he learned that after the unfortunate incident with Carson's birthday present). They hadn't really shared any secrets while they'd shared his body, but she'd seen way more of him than Rodney was comfortable with. He was a little afraid that if he pissed her off she might share some of the more... intimate details of things she'd seen and heard while she was in his head. Not that he had anything to be afraid of, but still, it was better not to take any chances.

So, when she asked him to help her set up a sound system for a party for Teyla, Rodney had obliged. Not happily and not without complaining bitterly the entire time that he *was* busy and his genius was wasted while he was setting up a sound system that a six-year-old with a basic understanding of electronics could set up, but he did it. He didn't really ask why Cadman was having a party for Teyla. He was invited and that's all he needed to know. And there was going to be cake. And a killer sound system.

Rodney knew that Teyla's people had been lost somehow. He had talked about it with Teyla. He was even working with her on ways to figure out what had happened to them and to locate them. As her friend and team mate he figured it was his responsibility to help her with that. Sometimes, when there was a teary quality to her eyes, he even patted her hand and got her tea. If he thought about it, he figured that the party was Cadman's way of trying to cheer Teyla up, too. After all, there wasn't anything Cadman could blow up at the moment to help her – so, throw her a party instead.

On the day of the party Rodney arrived in the hall and was aghast to find it swathed in blue and pink. It seemed that every woman in Atlantis was there. Besides Radek Zelenka, Rodney was the only other man present. Rodney had been pissed to find out that Sheppard and Ronon weren't attending Cadman's party because they had pressing business on the mainland. Rodney had told them in no uncertain terms that they should be supporting Teyla, but they'd still left smirking at him as if they knew something he didn't.

Puzzled, Rodney leaned over to Zelenka to whisper, "What kind of party is this?"

Zelenka just blinked at him when he said, "It is baby shower, Rodney."

Rodney didn't have time to ask why they were giving Teyla a baby shower because she arrived just at that moment.

In order to score cake, Rodney was horrified to find that he had to play games and watch as Teyla opened gift after horrifying gift of nauseatingly cute onesies, booties, soft blankets, pacifiers with little clips on them so the baby (or the parents) wouldn't lose them and diapers. There were so many diapers.

At the end of the party Teyla hugged him. "Thank you so much," she said, her eyes all soft and misty.

"Teyla is pregnant?" Rodney muttered to himself as he tried to ignore the women squeeing over baby clothes and swapping pregnancy horror stories they had heard. He looked at where she was sitting, gently glowing and yes, she did have a gentle curve to her belly but to his eyes it just made her look more beautiful than ever. Not that he'd ever tell her that, because she could still kill him with her pinky.

Radek sat beside him. "Really, Rodney I am impressed that you would do something like this for Teyla. I did not even think you knew."

"Of course I knew," Rodney scowled at him. "She's my team mate. What are you doing here? You don't even like children."

"True." Radek nodded. "But there was cake," he said with a twinkle in his eye. With that he picked up his fork and happily began on his third piece.

~~~~~

Zelenka:  
"Seriously," Rodney whispered as he slid into his seat across from Zelenka in the mess hall. "Have you noticed how Teyla is kind of... gaining weight?"

Rodney hoped it wasn't only him. Yes, he was the world's most oblivious person, and his people skills were less than adequate (Elizabeth had equated his people skills to slightly better than being hit over the head by a brick on his last evaluation) but he couldn't help but feel that there was something... different about Teyla lately.

Zelenka looked up over his breakfast at Rodney. "You do not know?" he asked, his eyes wide with his surprise.

"What?" It always irritated him when Radek thought he knew something that Rodney did not. Because there was nothing that Rodney didn't already know.

"She's pregnant." Radek said, his beady Czech eyes taking in every detail of Rodney's surprise.

"What? Really?" But Rodney remembered the evidence of her thickening waist line and the sudden mood swings lately – she'd cried the day before when the commissary had ran out of blue jello. Rodney had almost been forced to give up his own to her. Fortunately he'd come to his senses before he handed it over. After all, she could eat the orange stuff and he couldn't. He waved his fork airily, "I mean, of course she is."

He scowled across the room as the rest of his team entered laughing (he was sure it was at his expense somehow). His eyes narrowed as he studied Teyla and could now see the obvious swell of her belly, the way she just kind of glowed. He wondered if anyone had intended to tell him about it *before* the baby was born.

~~~~~~~

As the child is born:  
Normally Rodney didn't have a problem with the transporters on Atlantis. You stepped in, you pushed the map where you wanted to go and... poof... you walked out at the other end.

But today there had been a short in some Ancient crystal somewhere and he was stuck in the four by four room with no lights. After about five minutes he began to feel like the walls were closing in on him, although logically he knew that wasn't true.

"Wide open spaces," he muttered as he paced nervously. "Wide open spaces, wide open spaces."

"Really, Rodney, it will be alright," Teyla's soothing voice, for once, was so not soothing. It was taking up his available air.

"Can you not talk?" he bit out tightly. "You're using up our oxygen." He totally ignored the fact that he was talking, because his talking was necessary to keep him from going out of his mind with fear and worry.

"Rodney," she began again, and he jumped when he felt her hand on his arm. "Sit, please, before you fall down."

He allowed her to urge him down and he pressed himself against the wall, the better to keep it from closing in on him.

"There, that is better," she said in the darkness.

"No, no, it's really not," he told her while continuing his litany of, "wide open spaces... wide open spaces..."

"Rodney," she said. He could feel her as she settled next to him. She gave a small moan and a huff and he felt her warmth along his side. He supposed she was trying to be comforting but it didn't help at all because now he began to feel hemmed in from that side, too.

"Teyla," he began, but she cut him off.

"Something terrible must have happened to you as a child that you are this afraid of small spaces."

"I'm not afraid," he huffed at her indignantly. "It's a common response where I come from. A lot of people have claustrophobia," he said.

"Yes," she was still using the reassuring voice and Rodney had never been less reassured in his life. "And you are very brave for not giving into your fear," she said, her hand stroking down his arm.

"Well, I can be brave," he said.

"Of course you can," she agreed. "I am sure that Dr. Zelenka is working to find out what has caused the power to fail and will get us out of here as soon as he can."

"We're going to die." Rodney moaned at the mere thought that Zelenka was in charge of his rescue. "Wide open spaces, wide open spaces," he repeated desperately, squeezing his eyes closed and trying to picture the green fields with a bright sun overhead. The only problem with that was every time he got the green fields, he also got Wraith coming out of nowhere to cull everyone in sight or sometimes the Genii to capture his friends and torture them.

He might have zoned out then because her hand squeezing his brought him back to their predicament.

"Teyla?" he asked cautiously. She was squeezing his hand pretty tightly and it was beginning to hurt.

"I am sorry," she huffed out, her breath coming out in little pants.

"Oh, god," he moaned, "you're not claustrophobic, too, are you?"

Her hand was still squeezing his, but it was starting to ease up a little bit. He could hear her little pants of breath in the darkness.

"No," her breaths evened out and Rodney mentally calculated how much of their available oxygen her little panting breaths had cost them. "I am not claustrophobic, Rodney, I am pregnant. And I think it is time for the baby to come. I was on my way to the infirmary when the transporter malfunctioned."

Rodney stared at the place where Teyla's face should be trying to decide if this was some twisted plan of hers to keep him from a panic attack. If so, it wasn't working.

"You're pregnant?" he repeated stupidly, not sure what else to say.

Instead of answering, she took his hand and placed it on the swell of her belly.

Sure he noticed that she'd gained a little weight, he wasn't blind. But she was still hot and still as capable of kicking any ass in sight so he hadn't thought anything about it. But now, he could feel the life moving under his hands. Inanely (and completely inappropriately) he thought of the creature in Aliens that came tearing out of the belly of its victim. When he felt a foot kick, he jerked his hand back as if burned.

"Who's the father?" he asked unable to think of anything else to say.

Teyla moaned a little and started the little panting breaths that Rodney could now somewhat identify as perhaps having something to do with birth and delivery, at least if any of the chick flicks previous girlfriends had forced him to sit through that involved such things were to be believed.

"I do not think that is of importance at this moment," she got out between pants. Rodney could feel his panic rising again, but this time it had absolutely nothing to do with the small room they were trapped in.

"Teyla, you can not have that baby right now. You just keep it right where it is." He would have backed away, but Teyla still had his hand in hers and she was beginning to squeeze it tightly again.

She giggled a little and it struck Rodney as odd that he didn't think he'd ever heard Teyla giggle before. It had a slight hysterical tone to it.

"I am not sure I will get any choice in the matter, Rodney. The child seems most... insistent."

"Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god." Rodney's mind raced. He knew absolutely nothing about childbirth but it couldn't be that hard. Doctors managed to do deliver countless numbers of babies every day and it was all voodoo. At least that's what he told himself, but he really needed Carson to do a Daniel Jackson right then and show up out of nowhere and save him from passing out while Teyla had to deliver her own baby.

Rodney could have kissed Zelenka, because it was at that moment that the lights in the transporter came back on and the door swished open to reveal Keller and the entire medical team waiting for them on the other side.

Rodney tried to disentangle their hands and move away, but Teyla held on firmly.

"Please, do not leave me," she said, it nearly sounded like begging. And Teyla had never asked anything of Rodney and he couldn't leave her.

He stayed with her for the rest of the labor, which went surprisingly quickly. Although, as he watched Teyla cry out in pain and take the strange panting breaths, it seemed to go on far too long to Rodney. Then it came time for the actual birth. Rodney tried to edge to the door because there was some things that men weren't meant to witness. But Teyla asked and Keller allowed him to stay and see the actual birth which was strange and horrifying and beautiful all at the same time.

In the end, Rodney found himself standing next to Teyla's bedside holding her son, feeling a warm glow go through his whole being. Sheppard showed up about that time.

"Hey, buddy," Sheppard said as he gazed down at the sleeping bundle held protectively in the crook of Rodney's arms. "Hear you've had a busy day."

Rodney was in a daze and didn't know whether to yell at Sheppard for leaving him to deal with it by himself or just to hand him the baby and collapse into the bed next to Teyla's and sleep for the next two days.

He settled for glaring at Sheppard. "Did you know that Teyla was pregnant?"

Sheppard just cocked a brow at him and smirked. "You didn't?"

Gazing down at the sleeping baby in his arms, Rodney wasn't sure he would have believed it even yet if he hadn't been there to see the child born himself.

~~~~~~~

He doesn't believe it:  
The heavy hand on his shoulder was the first warning he had that Ronon was behind him. For a big guy he could be awfully stealthy.

Rodney startled and then turned to scowl at Ronon. "Yes?" he asked in his best menacing tone. While it sent most of Rodney's minions scurrying for cover, Ronon just glared down at him.

"What?" Rodney asked impatiently as the man didn't speak, he just kept *looking* at Rodney as if he was trying to figure out the best way to kill him. "Listen, if you're trying to figure out the best way to kill me, can you do it already? Otherwise I've got a lot of work to do."

"You made Teyla cry," Ronon said at last.

Rodney blinked trying to figure out what Ronon was talking about. Which was probably a waste of his precious brain power because most of the things Ronon said and did were only comprehensible to the big guy himself.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he admitted at last which caused Rodney pain to admit. But the sooner he could get Ronon to let go of his shoulder, the sooner he could go back to doing his own very valuable work.

"Listen," and now Ronon sounded like he was trying to be earnest. "You have to be nice to her right now."

Rodney shook his head because the input was making no sense whatsoever. He snapped his fingers. "Can we hurry this on? I have a lot of work to do and I'm not getting it done standing here."

Ronon shook him and it was a bit like being buffeted by the wind during a hurricane. Rodney could swear that his teeth rattled. "Yes, yes," he hurriedly amended. "I'll be nice to her. Okay, happy? Can I go now?' Anything to get the man giant to let him go. Rodney would report his strange behavior to Keller and get her to give him an examination with the big needles because he'd clearly gone insane.

"She's pregnant, you know," Ronon said, "and it's hard for her with her people being missing and all. I know you don't usually make an effort to be nice, but you should for Teyla."

Rodney blinked up at him before sneering and jerking his arm away from Ronon. "Oh, hardy, har, har. Nice joke by the way. Where did you get your sense of humor? Out of a cereal box. Because if Teyla was pregnant she would tell me herself."

Rodney walked away from him then, completely putting the matter out of his head. He'd wondered about Sateda's humor and now he knew that it was completely, totally insane. And not funny.

~~~~~~

Teyla:  
It was quiet in the mess hall. It was late and Rodney was the only one there, sitting at a lonely table working at his lap top. As he was getting ready for bed he'd had an epiphany regarding their power level usage. He'd come to the commissary looking for a cup of coffee. Once he'd sat down he hadn't moved again for hours. He was almost done now, just as the sun was starting to brighten the stain-glassed windows behind him.

"You are up early," Teyla's quiet voice startled him. He looked up at her with a grimace as he stretched and popped his back.

"Or late, it all depends on your perspective," he told her.

"May I join you?" she asked. She waved at the empty seat across from him with a diffident wave of her hand.

It surprised him. Teyla did not often ask lately. Their team just seemed to fit together and none of them had to ask to know that they were always welcome. Her words and her tone had a sense of such formality to them. Rodney looked up to find her regarding him with a fond smile. He shut his lap top and pushed it aside.

"Sure," he said.

She settled into the chair slowly. He'd noticed over the last few weeks that there was something changed about her. He wasn't very good at noticing differences in people – the women in his department often complained that he never noticed the changes in their hair style or when they looked nice. He responded that he kept their asses alive and that should be good enough. But Teyla was his team and he tended to notice things about them: like when Sheppard would limp away after a mission and claim to be "fine," or when Ronon was even quieter than usual after they rescued him from Sateda. And lately Teyla had been... different. Rodney hoped that when she was ready she would talk to him and hopefully this was the time.

She seemed unsure how to begin, which was unusual in itself. If there was anyone he had ever met that was totally sure of herself, it was Teyla. It had impressed him from the beginning.

He wasn't good at the people thing, but he could try for his team. He patted her hand a bit awkwardly and asked, "What's up?"

"Rodney, I have something to tell you that I should have told you some time ago, and a favor to ask you. I do not know how you will answer, but I hope that you will at least think about what I ask before you say no, because it means so much to me."

Rodney was struck dumb for a moment because Teyla was totally babbling. He'd never seen her nervous or unsure and now she was both, glancing over at Rodney from time to time to try to try and judge his reaction to her words. It was totally wrong that he was the cool, confident one at the table.

He took a deep breath because whatever Teyla was about to tell him was going to be huge; he could just feel it –Wraith attack huge. He nodded and tried to give her a reassuring smile.

She took her own steadying breath. "When Dr. Keller and I returned from finding that my people had disappeared, I found out something else then that I should have shared with you immediately, but I did not know how..."

Rodney felt a lump forming in the pit of his stomach and he couldn't stop himself from blurting out, "Oh, God, you're going to die aren't you?"

Teyla's eyes grew huge and she clutched his hand, "Rodney, I..."

"Oh, God, I'm right aren't I? You've only got a few months to live and you want me to promise that I will make sure that we keep on looking for your people..."

"Rodney, stop," Teyla's commanding voice cut through his hysteria. "I am not going to die, I am just pregnant." Her words rang throughout the empty room, echoing again and again in Rodney's head.

He blinked at her. "Pregnant?" When his mind caught up with the word he gaped at her. "Pregnant? Here? In Atlantis?"

She nodded.

"But, but, but, that's just..." he really didn't have any words for it. Rodney McKay hated children on principle. They were loud and noisy and they put their sticky fingers all over his stuff. And they were insane, always asking why, why, why when he was trying to work. Which wasn't bad per see. Questions were always a good thing, but not when there was a Wraith dart overhead trying to kill them all.

"Rodney, please say something," Teyla said, anxiety making her pat his hand.

"I... uhm... well, I don't know what to say. I guess congratulations are in order," he said stiffly. He did his best to hold it in, but he couldn't in the end, "Do you know how insanely dangerous this is? I mean we're in the middle of war here with the Replicators and the Wraith. Well, I guess not so much with the Replicators anymore because we've managed to destroy them, but the Wraith are still out there, and the Genii and there's any number of things in the Pegasus Galaxy that's trying to kill us at any given point and time. I mean we could all die a horrible death at any moment and then where will your baby be?"

"Rodney," she said soothingly, "it has always been that way here. It will be alright."

And she looked as if she meant it, too. Which made Rodney feel immeasurably better.

She took a deep breath then and continued, "Which is why I wish to ask you to be.... I think you would call it a Godparent for my child."

There was silence for a moment as Rodney processed her words.

"I... what?"

"While the parent does take main responsibility for their child on Athos, their friends and family also help to raise the child. The child belongs to everyone because they are our future. You are one of the best men I know, Rodney McKay and I would be proud to have to my child grow up to be like you."

"Really?" Rodney blinked at her, wondering if this was some form of temporary, pregnancy-induced madness. "Because you know I'm bad with children, right?"

She smiled gently, "I think you will find that you have reserves you did not know you had."

He returned her smile uncertainly, "Well, I mean if you're sure. And of course I would be the best person to help you teach your kid. I mean I am a genius after all." He clutched her fingers desperately, "But you're not to go and get yourself killed or anything like that and leave me to take care of your kid by myself? I mean I have duties and responsibilities..."

"It is alright, Rodney, I have no intentions of dying anytime soon. I know that nothing is certain however and I am also going to ask John and Ronon. You would not be alone."

Rodney's fingers tightened on hers, "Well, alright then. Although with those two, I'd be afraid your kid will grow up to be a reckless daredevil. It's probably a good thing you've got me as a calming influence."

Teyla bit her lip at that, and nodded as she said, "I am sure you are correct," but Rodney barely heard her. He was already busy mapping out the education that Teyla's child would need in the years to come. It really was good thing they'd come to Pegasus because otherwise her child would grow up ignorant of all the really important things in life – like math and science.

Teyla murmured something to him as she rose to leave and he waved an absent goodbye to her as he opened his lap top back up and began to plan the curriculum he would need to teach the child everything he would need to know if he was going to be smartest child in the Pegasus Galaxy.


End file.
